The Bride

Before the wedding, the bride must learn the foundations of the mitzva of the joy of ona and the laws of purity, and it is good to learn them with the help of a ‘bridal instructor’ (madrikhat kallot). As in every field, some instructors are better and some less so. The sign of a good instructor is that she is well-versed in the laws and knows how to explain them well, and she elaborates on the explanation of the mitzva of the joy of ona and on explaining its value (as explained in Peninei Halakha: Simḥat Ha-bayit U-virkhato, chapters 1-3), and from there she proceeds to explain the laws of impurity and purity, which are intended to direct, elevate, and intensify love and joy. But a less good instructor turns things upside down: she does not base her guidance on the essence of the mitzva, which is complete union, and she does not explain the laws well either.

The vast majority of brides today customarily use hormonal pills to regulate the timing of the last period before the wedding, so that it will fall at a time that allows the bride to become pure in time for the wedding, while at the same time falling at least three weeks before the wedding, so that immediately after the bride becomes impure from dam betulim (hymenal blood) and stops taking the pills, her next period will arrive and the length of the time of impurity will be shortened. One should know that there are different pills, and each of them is good for most women, while in some it causes slight bleeding between cycles or low mood. Therefore, the bride should consult a female doctor who is familiar with the subject early enough that she can take the pills for two cycles before the wedding, so that if she sees that the pills are not good for her, the doctor can change the type of pills or their dosage, and the bride will arrive at the wedding pure and calm.