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Chapter 8

The Customs of the Three Weeks

ח - מנהגי שלושת השבועות

In this chapter (23)
  1. 1. The Three Weeks
  2. 2. Dancing and Music
  3. 3. Playing Music and Singing at a Se'udat Mitzva
  4. 4. Listening to Music on Personal Electronic Devices
  5. 5. The Halakha in Practice
  6. 6. Hiking, Swimming, and Hotel Vacations
  7. 7. Reciting She'heheyanu During the Three Weeks
  8. 8. In Which Cases May One Recite She'heheyanu?
  9. 9. Marriage and Engagement
  10. 10. Haircuts
  11. 11. Shaving One's Beard During the Three Weeks
  12. 12. When Av Arrives, we Curtail our Joy
  13. 13. Meat and Wine
  14. 14. The Laws of Eating Meat and Drinking Wine
  15. 15. Meat and Wine on Shabbat Hazon and at a Se'udat Mitzva
  16. 16. Building and Planting During the Nine Days
  17. 17. The Laws of Building during the Nine Days
  18. 18. The Laws of Business Transactions During the Nine Days
  19. 19. The Prohibition on Laundry
  20. 20. Children's Clothing and Hospital Garb
  21. 21. Bathing
  22. 22. Shabbat Hazon
  23. 23. "The Week of Tisha BeAv" when Tisha BeAv is Postponed to Sunday
8:1

The Three Weeks

ימי בין המצרים

The Three Weeks, which begin on the night of Shiv’a Asar Be-Tamuz and continue through Tisha Be-Av, are a painful time. This period is often known as Bein Ha-metzarim, recalling the verse, “All her pursuers overtook her in the narrow places (bein ha-metzarim)” (Eikha 1:3). Therefore, the Sages recommended that we take extra precautions on these days, which are prone to calamity. For example, even though one must always be careful and vigilant, those who go on a hike or swim in the sea must be even more careful during this period (see Eikha Rabba 1:29).

In order to signify the nature of this period, the Sages instituted the reading of special haftarot that deal with calamity on the three Shabbatot of the Three Weeks. On the seven Shabbatot following Tisha Be-Av, we read seven haftarot of consolation (SA 428:8, based on Pesikta).

Even though the Sages did not make any special enactments to mark the suffering and mourning of the Three Weeks, the Jewish people adopted the custom to refrain from music and dancing, and to avoid reciting She-heḥeyanu during this period.¹

There are other customs of mourning that various communities have adopted. Ashkenazim and some Sephardim, including Jews from Morocco and Djerba, refrain from cutting their hair during the Three Weeks. Other Sephardim are strict about this only during the week of Tisha Be-Av. Ashkenazim, Yemenites, and most Sephardim do not conduct weddings during the Three Weeks. Other Sephardim are more lenient, only avoiding weddings from the beginning of the month of Av (see below, section 7).

In the following sections we will discuss at length the customs of the Three Weeks, the Nine Days, and the week of Tisha Be-Av.

Notes (1)
  1. Even though Shiv’a Asar Be-Tamuz begins at daybreak, the customs of mourning of the Three Weeks begin the night before. As we learned above, the fast was originally supposed to begin at night. The reason we begin fasting in the morning is that there are no harsh decrees against the Jewish people today. Therefore, it is up to the Jewish people to decide whether or not they want to fast, and they have decided to fast only from daybreak. However, the Three Weeks begin on the night of 17 Tamuz. Ḥida writes in this vein in Responsa Ḥayim Sha’al 1:24, based on Ramban. R. Moshe Feinstein, in Igrot Moshe OḤ 1:168, however, rules leniently, permitting weddings on the night of 17 Tamuz. Elsewhere (OḤ 4:112:2), he allows one to cut one’s hair then, if there is a great need. Tzitz Eliezer 10:26 disagrees, forbidding even weddings – through which one fulfills a mitzva – on the night of the seventeenth, because the Three Weeks have already begun. This seems correct.
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