Kibud Av VaEm (Honoring Parents) הלכות כבוד אב ואם
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240Siman 240 – Laws of Honoring Parents – Definitions of the MitzvahSiman 240 · 15 seifim
- 1.It is written in the Torah: "Honor your father…
- 2.There is no limit to the mitzvah of honoring…
- 3.It is stated in the holy Zohar: every person…
- 4.One who has no father or mother fulfills the…
- 5.All the laws of honoring parents apply equally to…
- 6.Even though the mitzvah of honoring parents is a…
- 7.Nevertheless, a son who disgraces his father or mother,…
- 8.Even though the observance of honoring parents is not…
- 9.If the father took a loan with interest not…
- 10.One who fulfills the mitzvah of honoring parents does…
- 11.Some say that the mitzvah of honoring parents is…
- 12.Some say that if a person transgressed the mitzvah…
- 13.Some say that one who fulfills the mitzvah of…
- 14.One who finds himself in a place with a…
- 15.One who wishes to truly honor his father and…
+Siman 240, Continued – Honoring Parents in Deed and ThoughtSiman 240 (continued) · 32 seifim
- 1.The mitzvah of honoring parents applies through deed, speech,…
- 2.Even though a person should not attend to his…
- 3.One whose father or mother is departing on a…
- 4.If he meets his father before he has prayed…
- 5.Honor in thought, how so? He should not disparage…
- 6.How far does the mitzvah of honoring parents extend?…
- 7.A person is obligated to honor his father and…
- 8.What we have said, that the son is obligated…
- 9.However, all this applies when his parents ask him…
- 10.If the father asks his son to take time…
- 11.If the son has bread and meat for his…
- 12.If the son has money and the father does…
- 13.Even though there is no obligation on the son…
- 14.If his mother is among those whose husband is…
- 15.If his father and mother come to ask him…
- 16.When the father or mother has no means of…
- 17.One who supported his father and mother from his…
- 18.If the father has no way to support himself,…
- 19.If the father has no means of support, and…
- 20.If he has several poor people before him to…
- 21.If the father has outstanding debts owed to him…
- 22.If the father saves his money and lives in…
- 23.If the son has a vacant apartment, he is…
- 24.Some say that if the father asked his son…
- 25.A father who released his son from the obligation…
- 26.One who swears not to honor his father and…
- 27.A person is obligated to attend to the honor…
- 28.The mitzvah of honoring parents is like all other…
- 29.As the preferred practice, one should not send his…
- 30.If the wife does not want to live in…
- 31.It is proper for the son to share his…
- 32.One whose father told him to go outside the…
+Siman 240, Continued – Honoring Parents in SpeechSiman 240 (continued) · 12 seifim
- 1.Honor in speech, how so? He should speak with…
- 2.One who gives his father food or drink —…
- 3.If he sees his father or mother in distress…
- 4.If the son needs something in the city, and…
- 5.Some say that this same law applies even after…
- 6.All this applies when the son is speaking with…
- 7.The son must be careful not to speak while…
- 8.The son should not remind his father and mother…
- 9.One who meets his mother in the marketplace, and…
- 10.The son must be careful not to swear by…
- 11.A father cannot forgive his son for speaking to…
- 12.A patient with Alzheimer's disease, God have mercy, whose…
+Siman 240, Continued – Rising Before One's FatherSiman 240 (continued) · 40 seifim
- 1.A person is obligated to rise in honor of…
- 2.Even one sitting on a bus, when his father…
- 3.When the son stands before his father and mother,…
- 4.One who finds himself in a filthy place with…
- 5.The custom is that when the father is called…
- 6.There are places where the custom is to kiss…
- 7.If the father serves as the prayer leader, it…
- 8.A person is obligated to rise before his father,…
- 9.A father who waives his honor has his honor…
- 10.If the father released his son from having to…
- 11.If, when the son begins to rise, his father…
- 12.It is not proper for the son to ask…
- 13.Even though it is not proper to request a…
- 14.A father who waives the awe due to him…
- 15.A father who forgave his son in advance, before…
- 16.It is not proper for parents to burden their…
- 17.It is forbidden for a son to waive the…
- 18.Even in the synagogue and study hall, and likewise…
- 19.Even when the son is engaged in Torah study,…
- 20.Even when the son is in the middle of…
- 21.One who is sitting before his primary teacher, and…
- 22.The obligation to rise before one's parents applies only…
- 23.A raised platform (bimah) in the synagogue, ten handbreadths…
- 24.If the son is sitting and his father passes…
- 25.If the son is sitting on a balcony and…
- 26.Even while the son is engaged in his work…
- 27.A son sitting in a barbershop waiting for a…
- 28.A son lying in his bed in his nightclothes…
- 29.One who bathes with his father or teacher in…
- 30.When the son is invited to a meal or…
- 31.If the son is engaged in eating, and his…
- 32.Some say that a son who hears the footsteps…
- 33.A son who rises before his father, and as…
- 34.One who sees his father and mother in another…
- 35.A son who rises before his father and needs…
- 36.However, regarding a mourner within the seven days of…
- 37.A son sitting shiva for his mother, even though…
- 38.Even if the son is a Torah scholar, he…
- 39.If the father is the son's student in Torah,…
- 40.It is obvious that it is permitted for a…
+Siman 240, Continued – The Law of Awe Toward Father and MotherSiman 240 (continued) · 89 seifim
- 1.It is a Torah-level positive commandment to hold one's…
- 2.Even a married woman is obligated in the mitzvah…
- 3.An onen (one whose relative has died but not…
- 4.What constitutes awe? He should not stand in the…
- 5.It is permitted for the son to stand in…
- 6.The son should not stand next to his father…
- 7.The son should not pray the Amidah after his…
- 8.If the son has lost something, and his father,…
- 9.Some say that the son should not sit directly…
- 10.If the son was already sitting at a feast…
- 11.A son who is a guest at his father's…
- 12.The son must be careful not to sit before…
- 13.Some say that the son should not get up…
- 14.The son should not sit in his father's fixed…
- 15.The prohibition against sitting in the place where the…
- 16.A son whose father gives a class, and the…
- 17.If there is a chair with a special shape…
- 18.A son who is a guest at his parents'…
- 19.If the father has a place in the synagogue…
- 20.A synagogue with two separate minyanim, where in the…
- 21.A father who had a fixed place in the…
- 22.It is permitted for the son to sit in…
- 23.A son who brought his father to live in…
- 24.When all the members of the household come to…
- 25.One who hosts his father at his home on…
- 26.One who hosts his father at his home on…
- 27.On Shabbat and Yom Tov, he should cut for…
- 28.Even though it is a mitzvah to be among…
- 29.If the father wishes to purchase a mitzvah honor…
- 30.If the opportunity to perform the mitzvah of shiluach…
- 31.However, regarding a mitzvah incumbent specifically upon the son,…
- 32.Some say that if his father was called up…
- 33.In places where the custom is that opening the…
- 34.It is included in the law of awe that…
- 35.If his father was telling a story, saying such-and-such…
- 36.The son should not say, "The law is thus…
- 37.The entire prohibition against the son contradicting his father's…
- 38.A Sephardic Jew whose father is counted among immigrants…
- 39.A father may waive his own honor and permit…
- 40.It is permitted for the son to wear his…
- 41.The son should not bathe in the bathhouse while…
- 42.If the father needs his son and asks his…
- 43.Some say there is no obligation to rise before…
- 44.The son should not relocate to another city if…
- 45.If the son lives far from his parents and…
- 46.One who lives far from his parents, and they…
- 47.A son who travels to another place, and his…
- 48.Elderly or ill parents who need their son to…
- 49.It is a joy for parents to see their…
- 50.Some have the custom of visiting their parents on…
- 51.A son who told his father he would come…
- 52.One who tells his wife, "I do not want…
- 53.One who has not seen his father or mother,…
- 54.Some say that if his father became ill and…
- 55.Parents should always make an effort to bless their…
- 56.It is good and proper for a person to…
- 57.One should make a great effort to receive his…
- 58.One who is a mourner within the seven days…
- 59.One should not call his father or mother by…
- 60.If there are others present with the same name…
- 61.One who studies for the recovery of his sick…
- 62.When mentioning his father's name with an added title,…
- 63.If he was reading words of Torah and mentions…
- 64.If his father had two names, or others have…
- 65.A father who was injured in a car accident…
- 66.If someone asked him, "Whose son are you?" or…
- 67.If the son is the gabbai who calls people…
- 68.If the father is called up to the Torah,…
- 69.One whose mother was divorced and remarried another, and…
- 70.It is permitted for the son to sign his…
- 71.If the son writes a letter to his father,…
- 72.One who signs his name and mentions his father…
- 73.One filling out an official form, such as an…
- 74.When asked in secular courts for his father's name,…
- 75.One whose name is "Abba" — it is permitted…
- 76.If his father is a great sage and everyone…
- 77.If others are accustomed to calling his father with…
- 78.If his father had a different name in his…
- 79.One whose father is also his primary teacher —…
- 80.A son whose mother's name is "Mazal Tov" —…
- 81.A grandson named after his grandfather — when the…
- 82.When the father names his son at the circumcision,…
- 83.One who prays for his sick father should not…
- 84.When conducting a memorial prayer (Hashkavah) for his father,…
- 85.When the son blesses his father by reciting "HaRachaman"…
- 86.Some say that parents may waive their honor and…
- 87.A Torah scholar who wrote a work — some…
- 88.One who meets his father is permitted to greet…
- 89.One who sent his son to a certain house,…
+Siman 240, Continued – How Far the Awe of Parents ExtendsSiman 240 (continued) · 18 seifim
- 90.How far does their awe extend? If the son…
- 91.If the father tore his son's clothes — even…
- 92.If the father wants to tear his son's clothes,…
- 93.A son who has a legal dispute with his…
- 94.One who is obligated to take an oath before…
- 95.One who visits his parents' home, where they are…
- 96.The son should not ask his father to serve…
- 97.If fruit was brought before the father, and the…
- 98.It is not proper for the son to make…
- 99.A son who asks his father or mother to…
- 100.Children should be careful not to make noise while…
- 101.Even though the son should not wake his father…
- 102.If the father is accustomed to being careful to…
- 103.If someone calls for his father or mother on…
- 104.If the congregation needs the father to complete a…
- 105.If people arrive at the father's home wanting to…
- 106.If the father is sleeping and a poor person…
- 107.The son must be careful not to tell his…
+Siman 240, Continued – Who Is Obligated in the Mitzvah of Honoring ParentsSiman 240 (continued) · 21 seifim
- 1.Both men and women are equal regarding the honor…
- 2.A married woman whose husband is abroad, and whose…
- 3.A father who needs his daughter should not instruct…
- 4.Even one who has a wife and children, and…
- 5.Even a young boy or girl who has not…
- 6.Even one whose parents gave him up for adoption…
- 7.If his mother divorced his father, and both want…
- 8.An adopted son is not obligated to honor his…
- 9.Some say that an adopted son recites Kaddish for…
- 10.A mamzer is obligated in the honor and awe…
- 11.A shetuki (that is, one who is silent if…
- 12.A child born through artificial insemination, or a test-tube…
- 13.One who has a son from a non-Jewish woman…
- 14.A son of a non-Jewish father and a Jewish…
- 15.A non-Jewish father who became ill and asks his…
- 16.A righteous convert is forbidden to curse, strike, or…
- 17.Nevertheless, it is not proper for a male or…
- 18.A righteous convert whose non-Jewish father or mother is…
- 19.Some say that a blind son is obligated to…
- 20.A son whose father or mother is blind is…
- 21.A father who has been afflicted with a memory-loss…
+Siman 240, Continued – Whom One Is Obligated to HonorSiman 240 (continued) · 20 seifim
- 1.The mitzvah of honoring parents applies even when the…
- 2.A father and son who are constantly quarreling and…
- 3.Even when the parents are wicked and publicly desecrate…
- 4.However, all this applies when the parents do not…
- 5.A father or mother who converted to another religion…
- 6.If one's older sibling is wicked and a habitual…
- 7.Sons eating with their father at one table, where…
- 8.A ba'al teshuvah (returnee to observance) whose father is…
- 9.One who is a guest on Shabbat at the…
- 10.A son whose parents do not observe Torah and…
- 11.A son who has returned to observance, living with…
- 12.A father who instructs his son to buy him…
- 13.If the father asks his son for some food…
- 14.If the father instructs his son to bring him…
- 15.If his father is ill and tells him to…
- 16.A father who asks his son to give him…
- 17.A father who demands that his son not smoke…
- 18.If a person has an opportunity to honor his…
- 19.One whose father or mother has lost their sanity…
- 20.If his mother has lost her sanity and severely…
+Siman 240, Continued – Honoring Parents Through the Role of Sandak and Naming ChildrenSiman 240 (continued) · 30 seifim
- 1.Some have the custom of honoring the husband's father…
- 2.One whose firstborn son was born while the father…
- 3.One who was honored to sit as sandak, and…
- 4.A ba'al teshuvah whose father publicly desecrates Shabbat, and…
- 5.The Sephardic custom in most places is to name…
- 6.If the husband belongs to a community that does…
- 7.One who named his newborn son at the circumcision…
- 8.When the father names his son at the circumcision,…
- 9.If the parents decide to give the first son…
- 10.If there is a dispute between the parents over…
- 11.One who wishes to name his son after the…
- 12.If his father's name is the same as that…
- 13.It is permitted to name one's son and daughter…
- 14.One whose father passed away, whose name was Daniel,…
- 15.It is clearly permitted to name one's newborn son…
- 16.It is not proper to name a son with…
- 17.Some say that one who wishes to change his…
- 18.Even though there is no prohibition, as a matter…
- 19.It is proper and fitting that a person not…
- 20.A woman who donated a curtain (parochet) to the…
- 21.It is proper to be careful not to name…
- 22.One who fulfills the mitzvah of levirate marriage (yibum)…
- 23.If his father or mother ask him not to…
- 24.One who names his son after his father's brother…
- 25.One who mistakenly named his son with his own…
- 26.Some have the custom of naming a mamzer (child…
- 27.It is permitted to name one's son after his…
- 28.One who became ill and had a name added…
- 29.An infant who became ill and whose circumcision was…
- 30.An infant who passed away before being named should…
+Siman 240, Continued – In Which Cases There Is No Obligation to Obey One's FatherSiman 240 (continued) · 66 seifim
- 1.The halachic authorities disagree as to whether the mitzvah…
- 2.Some say that if the father instructed his son…
- 3.If his father instructed him not to immerse in…
- 4.If the son has the practice of being stringent…
- 5.One accustomed to praying in the Sephardic liturgy, whose…
- 6.If the son wants to fast on the anniversary…
- 7.One who wants to donate a kidney to one…
- 8.An elderly woman with a married daughter, who has…
- 9.A son who has begun wearing a gartel (prayer…
- 10.If a mother instructed her son not to go…
- 11.If his father asks him for something from which…
- 12.Even if the father did not explicitly request something,…
- 13.If the father asked him for something from which…
- 14.One who was reciting the Shema, and in the…
- 15.If the son was reciting the Shema and his…
- 16.If the son recited the bedtime Shema and recited…
- 17.If the son wants to marry a woman who…
- 18.One whose parents instructed him not to marry a…
- 19.A Jewish daughter whose father decreed, under the guise…
- 20.A father who instructed his son to marry his…
- 21.A father who instructed his daughter not to marry…
- 22.A father who instructed his son to marry a…
- 23.A father who asks his son not to marry…
- 24.A father who instructed his son not to give…
- 25.It has already been explained above that if his…
- 26.One whose father is elderly or ill, and the…
- 27.A young man who wants to marry a properly-behaved…
- 28.If his father told him to divorce his wife,…
- 29.If his father instructed him not to serve as…
- 30.Regarding a lost item found abroad, which a person…
- 31.If his father instructed him to do something that…
- 32.One whose father or mother instructed him not to…
- 33.One whose father instructed him not to grow long…
- 34.A father who instructed his son to grow the…
- 35.The son should not pressure his father to give…
- 36.If the son cannot support himself and the father…
- 37.Some say that if the father has a certain…
- 38.One who took money from his parents without their…
- 39.A mother who wants to help her son who…
- 40.If his father or mother are distressed that their…
- 41.If the mitzvah of honoring parents involves distress —…
- 42.Nevertheless, if his father instructed him to do something…
- 43.If fulfilling the mitzvah of honoring parents causes tension…
- 44.If the mother instructs her son to do something,…
- 45.If the mother came first and instructed her son…
- 46.What we have said, that the father takes precedence,…
- 47.If his father instructed him to go with a…
- 48.If his father told him to do some task…
- 49.One who did something his mother instructed him to…
- 50.The son must be careful not to tell his…
- 51.The mitzvah of dwelling in the Land of Israel…
- 52.It is permitted to go abroad to greet one's…
- 53.If his father sends him to do shopping in…
- 54.Parents who do not observe Torah and mitzvot, and…
- 55.A father who asks his son to come to…
- 56.One whose brother is marrying in a ceremony performed…
- 57.Torah study is greater than honoring parents. Therefore, one…
- 58.A son who wants to relocate to another place…
- 59.A father should not interfere with his son's matters…
- 60.Parents who ask their son to enlist in the…
- 61.A son who wants to study in a yeshiva…
- 62.A father who asks his son to study the…
- 63.One who was engaged in Torah study, and an…
- 64.It has already been explained that if the father…
- 65.A father who objects to his son and decrees…
- 66.One who wants to pray in a synagogue where…
+Siman 240, Continued – Separating One's Father from TransgressionSiman 240 (continued) · 13 seifim
- 1.One who sees his father transgressing words of Torah,…
- 2.If his father transgresses some prohibition intentionally, even though…
- 3.If his father was explaining some teaching incorrectly, he…
- 4.A father who errs in halachah — it is…
- 5.A son who hears his father or mother speaking…
- 6.If he hears his parents speaking lashon hara (evil…
- 7.One who speaks lashon hara about his father or…
- 8.One who speaks lashon hara about his older sibling,…
- 9.A father who asks his son to review some…
- 10.If he heard someone speaking disparagingly and gossiping about…
- 11.A father who rebukes his son for something he…
- 12.If his father is sleeping with tefillin on his…
- 13.One who sees his father transgressing words of Torah,…
+Siman 240, Continued – The Mitzvah of Honoring Parents Where a Transgression Is InvolvedSiman 240 (continued) · 16 seifim
- 1.If his father told him to transgress words of…
- 2.Therefore, if his father instructed him not to forgive…
- 3.If his father instructed him not to speak with…
- 4.If he saw a lost item and his father…
- 5.If he was engaged in the mitzvah of honoring…
- 6.One whose father instructed him not to fulfill a…
- 7.A woman who instructed her son not to rent…
- 8.One whose father instructed him not to serve as…
- 9.If his father told him not to wear black…
- 10.If his father told him, "Give me water to…
- 11.One whose father instructed him not to observe obligatory…
- 12.If his father told him not to study Torah…
- 13.If his father has resentment and anger toward his…
- 14.A sick woman who walks in the street bareheaded,…
- 15.A sick woman who asks her son to take…
- 16.A doctor who was summoned to provide assistance in…
+Siman 240, Continued – A Father's Conduct Toward His ChildrenSiman 240 (continued) · 13 seifim
- 1.It is forbidden for a person to place a…
- 2.A person should not instill excessive fear in his…
- 3.A person should never favor one son among his…
- 4.Those who treat their children as friends, thinking this…
- 5.Parents should be careful not to curse their children…
- 6.Some say a mother should not say about her…
- 7.One should not frighten a baby with something impure…
- 8.The son must be very careful not to quarrel…
- 9.It is forbidden for a father to strike his…
- 10.Nevertheless, a person is permitted to give his young…
- 11.Some say that even if the son is completely…
- 12.A young child who disrupts the flow of prayer…
- 13.A child who desecrated Shabbat by mistake — one…
+Siman 240, Continued – Honoring Parents in Life and in DeathSiman 240 (continued) · 29 seifim
- 1.A person is obligated to honor his father and…
- 2.The essential honor after death is to elevate the…
- 3.If it is within twelve months of his father's…
- 4.On the night of Yom Kippur, our custom is…
- 5.If the father instructed his sons to do something…
- 6.Included in the obligation to honor one's father and…
- 7.Some say that all the laws of mourning observed…
- 8.One who instructed his sons before his death not…
- 9.One whose parents are alive, and who wants to…
- 10.If the anniversary of a parent's passing falls on…
- 11.A son whose parents are alive is permitted to…
- 12.The custom is to visit the grave on the…
- 13.Regarding whether there is an obligation on the son…
- 14.It is good and proper that even a mourner…
- 15.When there are several mourning siblings, how should they…
- 16.If the anniversary of the father's passing falls on…
- 17.Some have the custom of giving a mourner within…
- 18.The Sephardic custom is to hold a memorial gathering…
- 19.If necessary, it is permitted to move up the…
- 20.Some have the custom of fasting every year on…
- 21.If the anniversary falls on Shabbat, the custom is…
- 22.As a matter of strict law, it is permitted…
- 23.Some say that on the yahrzeit, if one mentions…
- 24.In all customs relating to the anniversary day, one…
- 25.One who was found dead at night in his…
- 26.One who instructed before his death that his body…
- 27.On the anniversary day, the custom is to visit…
- 28.One who is studying Torah, for whom visiting his…
- 29.It is a great mitzvah for the son to…
+Siman 240, Continued – Honoring Other RelativesSiman 240 (continued) · 45 seifim
- 1.A person is obligated to honor his father's wife,…
- 2.If his father was wicked but his father's wife…
- 3.If the father waives his son's obligation to honor…
- 4.One who swears not to honor his father's wife…
- 5.A person is obligated to honor his father's wife…
- 6.The mother's husband and the father's wife were extended…
- 7.If the father's wife waives her honor, her honor…
- 8.If his mother is particular and demands that her…
- 9.If his mother, who is married to another man,…
- 10.If his mother requests water and his father's wife…
- 11.One's father's wife who has passed away, or one's…
- 12.A person is obligated to honor an older sibling,…
- 13.One need not honor an older sibling exactly as…
- 14.Some say this obligation to honor an older sibling…
- 15.If his older sibling is unlearned, he must still…
- 16.A Torah scholar whose older sibling disgraced him, and…
- 17.Honoring older siblings applies only in their presence. Some…
- 18.Some say that a person should not arrange a…
- 19.If his older sibling says to him, "Give me…
- 20.Some say a person is obligated in the honor…
- 21.As a matter of strict law, it is permitted…
- 22.If the parents forbid the son from saying Kaddish…
- 23.If his grandfather was wicked and a habitual transgressor,…
- 24.If his father says to him, "Give me water,"…
- 25.A person is obligated to train his young sons…
- 26.Even though a person is obligated in the honor…
- 27.There is room for doubt whether there is an…
- 28.It is permitted for a person to sign his…
- 29.A person is obligated to honor his father-in-law even…
- 30.There is no obligation of awe toward one's father-in-law…
- 31.If the groom is a Torah scholar and his…
- 32.It is proper and fitting not to call one's…
- 33.Some have the custom of calling their father-in-law and…
- 34.A wife is likewise obligated to honor her father-in-law…
- 35.Even if his father-in-law and mother-in-law cause him distress,…
- 36.Even if his father-in-law is unlearned, he must honor…
- 37.It has already been explained above that if there…
- 38.If his father or mother instructed him not to…
- 39.Even after the passing of one's father-in-law and mother-in-law,…
- 40.A daughter-in-law who wants to help her mother-in-law tidy…
- 41.When he must choose between honoring his father and…
- 42.A person is obligated in his father-in-law's honor even…
- 43.His father-in-law's wife, who is not his wife's mother,…
- 44.It is proper and fitting to honor one's uncle…
- 45.A father who instructed his son to do something,…
+Siman 240, 241 – The Law of Cursing One's Father or MotherSiman 240 (continued) · 6 seifim
- 1.It is written in the Torah: "and one who…
- 2.Even if his father or mother are of unsound…
- 3.One who curses his father's father or his mother's…
- 4.Anyone who disgraces his father or mother, even through…
- 5.A convert is forbidden to curse his non-Jewish father,…
- 6.If a mother hears her young child disgracing his…
+Siman 240, Continued – The Law of Striking One's Father or MotherSiman 240 (continued) · 11 seifim
- 1.It is written in the Torah: "and one who…
- 2.Regarding the prohibition against striking one's father and mother,…
- 3.If it becomes necessary to draw blood from one's…
- 4.A patient who needs to receive an injection every…
- 5.An expert doctor skilled in surgery, whose father wants…
- 6.Nowadays, when haircutting is done with modern electric devices,…
- 7.One who sees his father has fainted, and needs…
- 8.The prohibition against striking one's father does not apply…
- 9.If one's father and mother are utterly wicked and…
- 10.A son who struck his father during his childhood,…
- 11.One who resolves to do complete repentance, and remembers…