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Chapter 1

Honoring Parents

א - כיבוד הורים

In this chapter (30)
  1. 1. Honoring Parents and Honoring Heaven
  2. 2. Parents and Children: A Link in the Chain of Eternity
  3. 3. The Four Mitzvot Related to Honoring Parents
  4. 4. Honor and Reverence for Father and Mother
  5. 5. Sitting in Their Place and Rising Before Them
  6. 6. Not Calling Them by Name
  7. 7. The Prohibition of Waking Sleeping Parents
  8. 8. General Principles of the Mitzva of Honor
  9. 9. The Obligation of the Son and the Daughter
  10. 10. Can Children Be Compelled to Honor Their Parents?
  11. 11. The Mitzva to Live Near One’s Parents
  12. 12. A Respectful Attitude
  13. 13. How Far Does Honoring Parents Extend?
  14. 14. One Whose Parents Have Lost Their Minds
  15. 15. Parents’ Attitude Toward Children, and Not Striking
  16. 16. Wicked Parents
  17. 17. Judging Parents Favorably
  18. 18. Psychological Therapy That Undermines Honoring Parents
  19. 19. Abusive Parents
  20. 20. Honoring Parents and Observing the Mitzvot
  21. 21. In What Matters Must One Obey One’s Parents?
  22. 22. Parents Who Oppose a Marriage
  23. 23. Should One Contact a Divorced Father Against the Mother’s Wishes?
  24. 24. The Prohibition of Striking, and May a Son Give His Father an Injection?
  25. 25. Adopted Children Toward Their Adoptive Parents
  26. 26. Adopted Children Toward Their Biological Parents
  27. 27. A Convert’s Relationship to His Biological Parents
  28. 28. Grandfather and Grandmother
  29. 29. One’s Father’s Wife, Older Siblings, and Father- and Mother-in-Law
  30. 30. A Person Should Not Discriminate Between His Children in Inheritance
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Honoring Parents and Honoring Heaven

כיבוד הורים וכבוד שמיים

It is a positive Torah commandment for a person to honor his father and mother and to revere them, as it is stated: “Honor your father and your mother” (Shemot 20:12), and likewise: “Every man shall revere his mother and his father” (Vayikra 19:3). The Sages said (Kiddushin 30b) that Scripture equated honoring father and mother with honoring the Omnipresent, as it is stated: “Every man shall revere his mother and his father” (Devarim 6:13), and it is stated: “You shall revere the Lord your God” (ibid. 10:20).

We must understand why the mitzva of honoring parents occupies such an exalted place that it was equated with honoring Heaven. The explanation is that, indeed, a person who does not honor his parents cannot arrive at faith in God. A person who does not honor his parents is a selfish person who thinks only of himself, of his own pleasures and private needs; he does not lift his thoughts to those who helped him and did him kindness. Questions such as who took care of him in his childhood and who tended to him when he was ill do not interest him. He is preoccupied only with himself and thinks that everything is coming to him, and therefore it does not occur to him that he must show gratitude to anyone. Such a person, of course, will not think about the Creator, Who is good and does good, Who watches over and cares for man at all times. He is not interested in whose merit he lives by, who brings down the rain, who created the sun and who breathed the breath of life into him. He is incapable of believing, and he has no interest in cleaving to God, walking in His ways and adding goodness and blessing to the world.

Therefore the Torah equated honoring parents with honoring Heaven, for one who honors his parents prepares his soul for a mindset of faith, a mindset of gratitude. He becomes accustomed to thinking about the roots of things, and from reflecting on his parents and feeling gratitude toward them, he will continue onward to faith in the Creator of the world: “Lift up your eyes on high and see Who created these” (Yeshayahu 40:26).

Now we can understand another statement of the Sages: “There are three partners in a person: the Holy One, blessed be He, his father and his mother. When a person honors his father and mother, the Holy One, blessed be He, says: I consider it as if I dwelt among them and they honored Me” (Kiddushin 30b).

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